shoulda, woulda, coulda.

letting go of a good thing may not be a wise move, but how could i have given my word without fully knowing that i will keep to it?

so here i am thinking about what could have been... and how everything has been since that first night.

you made me laugh a little louder, smile a little brighter
you made me feel like it was possible to do this all over again
you looked right through me and saw me for what i was, the way no man has in a long time

you made me realise that it isn't always about physical attraction but the warm fuzziness of companionship... the one thing that i still miss every now & then.

it was a genuine form of happiness
somehow, someway you managed to break past the barrier... or maybe i allowed you to.

but what's not meant to be will not be...
i couldn't give you what you asked of me and i had to watch you go.

you didn't say a word as you walked out the door. did you at least turn & look?

"we can't all be like you. some of us are and always will be a little messed up."


i will only allow myself this much time & space to feel like this.

then i will pick myself up, dust myself off and get on with life.

don't let it happen again.